Reverb

A couple months ago our church was asking for volunteers to pray for people after service. I signed up and was assigned two Sundays in June. It's simple, after service, I stand with another volunteer and we wait to see if anyone needs prayer, then we simply pray for them. There are always two sets of two people ready to pray.

My first time was June 2nd, it was communion Sunday and I had brought communion home for my mum and Michelle. Mum was tired that day so Michelle stayed home with her while I went, prayed for people and then came home. After giving mum communion, she was with Jesus within the half hour.

I didn't want to go to church today but my mum taught me that when you say you'll be somewhere or you'll do something, you ALWAYS follow through. So off to church I went, Michelle stayed home to check out a guest. Got through the church service fine, found my prayer partner and we both stood near the front of the church waiting to see if anyone would come up. A lovely lady came up and we prayed for her dad, feeling sweet relief because I can only go a few hours without crying and the church is emptying and it doesn't look like anyone else is coming up.

Then my friend walks by with his new bride and I smile, he grabs me in an embrace and holds onto me while they both pray and comfort me. My poor prayer partner is looking a bit perplexed wondering I am sure if I misunderstood my assignment today, I was to be praying for people not being prayed for. My friends leave and I quickly explain the situation, she smiles and says no problem, she understands. We wait a few more minutes and then the trio approaches, friends of my mums - two are widows and one lost her mom a few years back. I am a puddle by the time they get to me and they hug me and speak such kind words I am undone. By now my prayer partner realizes what's happening and she just grabs my hand and prays for me. Those 4 women would not let me go, one kept saying my sister and I weren't alone, they were there for us, two of the women knew my mum well and kept saying such sweet things then they prayed and believe me when I say, heaven came down. These women have stood in the fire and been tested and found to be true gold.

I've discovered that there is a secret club of people that have been through loss, as soon as they start speaking you know. I came home from church relaying everything to M and we agreed that neither of us wanted to be in this club - in fact M said instead of calling this blog "Surprised by Grief" she suggested I change it to "Punched in the Face by Grief". And now, we are members of the Grief Club. Normal people walking around, no clue that they're members of the club - can't decide if its the tone of their voice, or the look in their eye that signals - 'hey, I know, I've been there'. Its powerful, before this I'd get excited when I had something in common with someone, or we were both from the same city or had travelled somewhere - now, its a deep knowing that they know right where you are.

One more thing,  and if you don't regularly go to church this won't make sense (feel free to ask me about it:), but while we were standing up waiting for people to come up for prayer the worship team was singing, I was behind the guitar player and beside the drummer and I could hear this thumping every time the drummer hit the drum or cymbal, it was annoying - I wanted to just hear the drum sound but it was like banging a chop stick on a cutting board. I kept looking around to see where the noise was coming from but it was just the drummer tapping the drum. The sound I hear sitting in my seat is magnified so I just hear the subtle beat, but up close I could hear the drum stick hitting the drum with a thunk. 

It dawned on me that the reverb we send out into the world is the same thing, some days it feels like banging a stick (like going to church when I didn't feel like it) but somehow through amplification, our small acts of kindness, love, discipline flow out and create beauty and most times we aren't even aware of it. I truly wanted to stay in my cave today and just curl up in a ball, but I went out and in return got loved on.  All by people I didn't even know well, but who knew my mum and just wanted me to know how loved we were and that we weren't alone.

So dear friends, this week - beat your drum, do something even if you don't feel like it, use your voice because somewhere down the line, you'll hear about the reverb you created in someone else's life. Always hugs.

Photo by Josh Sorenson